Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 02.07.2025 10:17

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Does beneficial infrared heat pass at all through EMF shields of IR sauna blankets (zero EMF emission)?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why do I want to be caught sucking dick by my wife?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How would you spank me if I had been sent home from a school camp because of my poor behavior?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Are there any real-life examples of prisoners who escaped from hospitals and were never caught?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

How does Kamala Harris plan to tackle the housing crisis?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can read

Why do over 80% of companies still hire the wrong candidates despite using AI and advanced recruitment tools?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists